May 10 2012

Happy Fiesta!

Last May 6, my workmates and I went to Gapan, Nueva Ecija (Mau’s, my workmate, province) for an adventure. In simple terms, nakifiesta kame.. I think the last time I attended a festivity was a decade ago in our province in La Union. It was a 3-4 hour drive from Manila to Gapan. Blame the traffic in the provinces due to road re-constructions. (Hello elections!) On the other hand, it’s fun going to different places with friends. It was actually our head nurse, Sir Erick, who planned everything. Mau only invited us but we never thought that Sir Erick would arrange the schedule so we can go. Of course, not everyone can go… But at least, the closest friends of Mau were there. =)

I like going to festivities. Aside from the food overload, you also get to see the culture and tradition of the people in that particular place. I grew up in a subdivision here in the metro so that explains my excitement whenever I go to the province and see different things that can’t be seen in our place.

Anyway, some photos…

Apr 27 2012

“Dysmenorrhea lang yan…”

A few minutes ago, I called our nursing supervisor’s office just to notify them that I can’t go to work tonight. I told the supervisor on duty that I have dysmenorrhea (painful menstruation) and her reply was, “Sus. Dysmenorrhea lang yan! Mag-Mefenamic ka.” It made me sad because some people just don’t understand what I am going through… I am not just having a dysmenorrhea. I am suffering from endometriosis.

Yesterday, even if it was my Day 1 of my monthly period, I still managed to go to work because I don’t want to be the cause of our “fucked up schedule” again in our ward. I have always mentioned that we are understaffed and until now our request to have additional staff nurses is still not granted. So even if I wasn’t feeling well, I worked. I took care of my patients. That sucks right, you have to drag yourself to work to take care of your patients when deep inside you’re in so much pain.

The other day, while I was fixing this blog… I read one of my old posts about my excitement of getting hired in this hospital. But now, things changed. Working in our ward frustrates me. It’s not about the people around me that causes it but the work load that is thrown to us. It’s just so unfair that I work in a ward where sometimes you forget that you’re hungry or that you have a bladder. Why is it unfair? Because in other wards, they even have the time to get a mani-pedi while at work. They can eat whenever they like. It’s not that I hate them for it. I mean my colleagues should not be blamed for this but I just envy them because we get paid at the same amount but for us working at N5, it’s not enough. It’s insufficient for us who go home with muscle pain and empty stomach. One rest day isn’t even enough for us to say that we were able to rest well. So what happens to our staff, we get sick. We try to work even if we’re sick but then we’re still human beings whose bodies eventually give up. One absence of a staff affects the whole staffing in our area. I know that my absence today will affect everyone who’s on duty right now. I’m guilty of not going to work, but what can I do? I can’t work effectively and efficiently with this pain. I can’t even walk normally because the pain radiates down to my legs and knees. :(

I have been contemplating for the past few days (since I was confined in the hospital) that it’s time to leave the stress behind. I am starting to look for a new job here in our country because I am still not the type of person who’s so eager to work abroad. I just want to travel. That’s all. My parents are getting old and they’re starting to feel body aches from time to time and I don’t think I could leave them just like that. The only thing that pushes me to work abroad is to be able to save enough money for my luxury needs. Choz!! Moreover, I also feel guilty of quitting this job because my parents always tell me, “Tiisin mo lang, anak. Ang daming nurses dyan na walang trabaho. Napaka-swerte mo may trabaho ka dito sa Pilipinas.” See? If I quit this job, I need to do a lot of explaining to my parents! Haha!

In my opinion, I think that I have already gotten my fulfillment in this job. I have saved and touched lives. Not all people can have the opportunity or even privilege to do that. On the other hand, I also learned a lot in this job. But practically speaking, I need to find a new job that has a lesser stressful environment where I could find my personal and professional growth. Anyway, like what I said, things change. So let’s see what will happen next…

Apr 19 2012

The Attack of Endometriosis

In the evening of April 11, while I was preparing my stuff for our outing the next day, I suddenly felt an excruciating pain in the right lower quadrant of my abdomen radiating to my back and spreading to my right leg and thigh. Pain scale is 11/10. It was intense. I had to rush to our institute’s emergency room for medical consultation.

In the emergency room, I felt disappointed of the nurses who were on duty. Due to frustration, I vented out on my iPad while I was in the hospital. I plan to print it out and submit it to our new chief nurse. Here’s a part of the letter:

What disappointed me is that, the entire time that I was on the stretcher crying and suffering from excruciating pain, not a single ER nurse dared to ask me what is going on. They just kept on passing by the stretcher where I was. I understand that this is an emergency room and that everything is fast paced but I assume that I am not the kind of patient that could be categorized as the least priority because I was in so much pain. My pain is scale is even more than 10. I was curling up on that stretcher, crying out loud. I even had to ask my father to follow up every now and then.
It’s kind of frustrating in my part because I am a nurse too. I am not a perfect nurse but I make sure that when I see a patient who’s suffering from pain, I approach him/her just to calm him/her down. In that way, the patient will feel that he/she is safe and that he/she is being taken care of. I hate to say this but I didn’t feel any of that from them while waiting for the doctor’s order. In school, we were taught that the immediate and independent nursing care for a person who is in distress is to give a calming and relaxing environment. And yes, therapeutic touch works too.
I have been in and out of the hospital as a patient for how many years. I have been suffering from endometriosis since 2007, migraine and chest pain since God knows when… I have been rushed to the emergency room for how many times and I hate to admit this but I think that the ER nurses in other hospitals where I was rushed are better than the ER nurses we have here. I felt safer there than here. I can’t help but compare. That’s the reason why I saw what they have been lacking. I don’t want to generalize. I don’t want to judge them because I don’t know what these nurses are going through and like what I said, I am a nurse too so I know how busy their lives are. What I am trying to point here is the lack of concern when I was there. I don’t know… Is it because they know that I am a nurse? Did they put in their minds that I know how to handle myself? I don’t think that’s the right reason because in that situation, I am a patient suffering from pain not a nurse scrutinizing them.

One more thing, I had an encounter with a rude medical intern in that same place. For the record, I have undergone too many ECGs (I have a mild heart illness that I haven’t followed up for years.) and this is the only time that a MALE medical intern would do the procedure. I requested for a FEMALE intern and this is our conversation:

Me: Pwede po bang babae na lang mag-ECG sa akin….
MIOD (Medical Intern On Duty): Diba employee ka naman dito?
Me: Oo, staff ako ng N5.
MIOD: Oh.. alam mo naman na yun e. Nurse ka naman. Doctor naman ako. Anong problema dun?
Me: Eh doctor (we call them doctor even if they aren’t licensed yet), eh nakakahiya naman at lalake ka.
MIOD: E di wag! *walks out*

How rude! Dafuq. If only I wasn’t in pain that night, I could have thrown him my phone. Anyway, I got his name and mentioned in the Patient Satisfactory Survey Form about what he did.

Now let me talk about my illness… So everybody knows that I have endometriosis and I was diagnosed in 2007. I have undergone operation for two times, one was elective and the other one was emergency. In 2010 and 2011, I felt okay. Although, I suffer from monthly dysmenorrhea which I think is inevitable in my situation. My fault is that when I started working in the hospital, I failed to follow up. So this is a lesson for everybody with a chronic illness, it is a MUST to follow up.

In my ultrasound, it showed that I have a cyst again on my LEFT ovary. My RIGHT ovary is normal even though I feel the pain at the right side of my abdomen. I was referred to a new OB because my previous OB can not attend to her patients for the mean time because she is on a training right now. My OB told me that I need to go back to my pills. I stopped it in 2010. I told her that I stopped it because of my breast lumps. So she opted me to undergo breast ultrasound for clearance. On that same day, I also underwent ultrasound of the whole abdomen also for surgery clearance… In my breast ultrasound, it showed a LOT of nodules. Ten nodules in both of my breasts. Thank God, they are benign… but I still have to monitor them. We don’t know what will happen next. In my whole abdomen ultrasound, it said that I have adenomyosis which is related to my endomtriosis… And that probably caused all these pain I felt.

So for the treatment, my OB said I have to get 3 shots of GnRH which I had a few years back. It costs Php 8,000 every shot back in 2007. I had 4 shots then. Now, I have to get 3 shots every month and then proceed to the contraceptive pills. I don’t know how much this GnRH costs now but it definitely costs a fortune for a nurse like me who is not really well paid here in our country.

The other treatment which takes a lot of contemplating is to GET PREGNANT. Since 2007, my first OB told me that this is the best option. I am not ready to get pregnant yet. I mean, to get pregnant is probably exciting but after that, what will happen to the baby? I don’t want to bear a child just because I have to. What will I feed her? I am not yet financially stable to have a family of my own. PLUS, I still don’t want to give up my singlehood. Hahaha! I still have a lot of dreams to fulfill and goals to achieve. If a baby comes into my life, everything will change. Not that I don’t want to be a mother… Of course, I want to be a mom… but at the RIGHT time. But then again, if I plan to get pregnant years from now… I might have a hard time conceiving.

Anyway, it’s already 11 am… I need to prepare for work. Yes, I’m back to work. I only had 2 days of rest here at home. I’m not losing hope. I’ve read in some forums that they still got pregnant when they were 30+. Let’s pray for that.

Mau, Andrea and Jinkee (my closest friends in N5) paid a visit after their outing. Yes, I wasn’t able to attend our summer outing because of what happened.

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Mar 22 2012

My baby girl, Alodia

When someone walks into your life, he/she probably has a purpose. I guess, Alodia came into my life just to teach us a lesson. Alodia died in my arms this morning. It was like a roller coaster ride seeing her suffer from illness that we just learned yesterday. Little did we know, she was suffering from distemper.

Canine distemper is a contagious, incurable, often fatal, multisystemic viral disease that affects the respiratory, gastrointestinal, and central nervous systems. Distemper is caused by the canine distemper virus (CDV).
Source

Mar 17 2012

We will miss you, Weasley

I couldn’t explain in words how devastated I am upon learning that Weasley’s health status is critical.

He was rushed to the animal clinic yesterday due to seizures. The vet said he has meningitis. This morning, we called the vet for updates and sad to say, he might give up anytime. :( When I went to the vet to see Weasley, I couldn’t help but shed in tears while calling his name. He’s too young to die. He’s only 3 months old. :( I still couldn’t understand how he was able to contract this fatal viral infection.

Weasley, we will miss you. I will miss you a lot especially those moments when you beg me to carry you (I couldn’t resist your begging eyes). I will miss everything about you. I love you Weasley even though you’ve only stayed with us for a month. :(